At the weekend, Billy and I were playing the "ap game".
Tired? There's a nap for that
Constipated? There's a crap for that
Is your head cold? There's a cap for that.
Do you need directions? There's a map for that.
Need a large bread roll? There's a bap for that.
Need a sports shoe? There's a dap for that.
Luggage needs securing? There's a strap for that.
Need a year between studies? There's a gap for that.
Cat needs a place to snooze? There's a lap for that.
Worried about cervical abnormalities? There's a pap for that.
Need street talk? There's a rap for that.
Getting harassed? There's a slap for that.
Need something to hold your falafels and hummous? There's a wrap for that.
Need a drink of water? There's a tap for that.
Mouse trouble? There's a trap for that.
Small noisy dog? There's a yap for that.
Spoiling for a fight? There's a scrap for that.
Need a Persian governor? There's a satrap for that!"
Need ray gun sound effects? There's a zap for that.
Need a term for dried lips? There's a chap for that.
Need a press stud? There's a snap for that.
Looking for a fool? There's a sap for that.
Web-surfing by phone? There's WAP for that.
Need applause? There's a clap for that.
Cat needs its own entrance? There's a flap for that.
Unfair golfing advantage? There's a handicap for that.
Need a dictionary? There's a Harrap for that.
Not sure if you will or won't? There's a mayhap for that.
Need a Welsh patronymic? There's an ap for that.
Need horse-drawn transport? There's a pony-trap for that.
Need carnivorous vegetation? There's a venus fly-trap for that.